The Thoughtful Sensei-Aikido Musings

181. Gestaltic Drift

The idea that by learning any martial art and eventually reaching senior rank somehow enables the Bushi to simply ignore the specific how’s and why’s of what they learned and how they now train is an error in thought caused by an over-familiarity with some or most of the ryu’s curriculum (but not all).  In other words, they know part of the total system very well indeed, part of the system a little bit, and the rest …. well ….. somewhere between not at all and “I did it one time 5 years ago”.

Assuming that someone is properly taught and can therefore hew to the correct pure line of principal to begin with, and additionally has put in the necessary time working the material to understand, internalize, and make it functional under pressure fails to consider several things. 

First, the system is a gestalt in the sense of how it is put together.  You cannot understand “just one part” and then assume that you understand it all.  In gestalt, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and that “whole” is really on a geometric progression (as compared to the sum of its parts) and is not simply a linear expression of understanding.

A gestalt has two or more parts that are so integrated together and crucial to the other parts in that joining together that we perceive them as one object.  Think of the idea of teaching "the whole child," and you have a basic understanding of the ideas behind gestalt based on the perception of oneness from many.  So, in martial arts understanding only part of a total ryu leaves a gap in understanding that leads to not understanding the parts well at all nor how they fit together, much less having an intuitive understanding of the totality of the whole.

Second, that the increased understanding of “some parts” won’t eventually result in that player doing things slightly differently based on that more limited understanding (of some parts) For example, that different body types will end up making the same waza look “slightly” different from someone else with the same time on the mat and the same rank, when if both players had the same level of “gestaltic understanding” then the differences in appearance should be minimal with each illustrating the same fundamental principles in their performance regardless of their body types.  Each has flaws but neither understands that they do, nor are they able to adequately identify those flaws, much less correct them; thus the confusion in their students from their incoherent and disconnected teachings.

There is a third possibility here and that is full understanding was never achieved in the first place and that the Bushi is making small errors and fails to realize that they have deviated from the “pure line” of that waza, but even their limited understanding is better than the abilities of the opponent such that they are bad, but the other guy is worse.

They do not realize that this deviation exists because they operate at such a high level that they can make the waza work despite any “technical” errors in the “pure form”.  Another way in which to consider this is to think of the “pure form” as 100% efficiency (a full expression of pure principles) and their actual performance is maybe at 60% to 80% of that “pure line”.  However, the opponent is simply unable to themselves operate and anything over 50%.  Basically, the player can make errors, but they are so good (and the opponent so bad) that those errors do not matter in the least.

So that success basically results in a self-validation of that deviation from the 100% pure line.  That validation, since it is not apparent due to their success against a much weaker player, is therefore not corrected and continues to be reflected in how they teach and train.

However, as true Bushi we should always strive for that mystical 100% even if no one is ever able to train and operate at that level of “purity” and efficiency on a consistent basis.  To do otherwise is to fail in our efforts towards mastery and will forever stunt our growth in the ryu/art form.  Acceptance of the idea of being less than what could be possible (operating at 100% of the principle true line) will not only limit our ability to perform, but it also limits our ability to teach and over time will result in the loss of the ryu itself as over several generations it becomes a shadow of what it once was.  Once lost it cannot be regained as the number of senior Sensei who are able to express, operate, and teach at that 100% level diminishes over time thus removing any sources of deeper understanding and corrections.

L. F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

December 14, 2021

180. So, What Is Your Problem Re-Examined

You have a problem.  I have a problem.  Everyone on the mat has a problem.

Every rank presents issues that must be dealt with.  These issues largely come from having to overcome natural human tendencies.  Those tendencies may change based upon the rank attained and currently held due to growing maturity, greater in-depth understanding of the principles, increasing experience in working with kohai (junior ranks) and learning from sempai (senior ranks), more time training in a keiko attitude (having deep consideration for what is being done while doing it), higher levels of performance (naturally resulting in the granting of that higher rank), and the understanding of etiquette towards others.

The beginner ranks have issues that are easy to see and understand; uncertainty, fear of failure, and concern over injury to themselves (or sometimes to a training partner) all serve to restrain progress until those concerns are understood by the student and begin to be moved beyond as experience is gained.  The beginner then starts to enjoy the training and rapidly progresses forward until achieving later (higher) ungraded rank when entirely new concerns manifest themselves (such as will I be able to learn enough for that promotion or I don’t want to work with other, perhaps lower ranked, beginners because I am finally doing better with personalized instruction from the black belts).

Unfortunately for the deshi, these issues within themselves are generally only able to be seen by senior ranks and not by the deshi themselves (it is difficult to be within one’s own skin and step out of it for purposes of looking back to engage in self-evaluation).  The result is that when uncorrected the issue can fester.  For this reason, it is up to the seniors, including the Sensei and the Hatamoto, (the Sempai as it were) to identify the problems as they arise and to apply corrective measures.

Most of the time the corrective measure is simply guidance as normally provided by Sensei and Hatamoto for learning Bushido.  This guidance can consist of encouragement and suggestions on how to train and is generally sufficient for correction and the resumption of positive forward motion within that ryu or dojo.  Hitting one of these maturity (growth within the art form itself) issues is normal, it is expected, and is part of the curriculum and anticipated growth within the art.  However, staying there is not and it may not be ignored.

Lower kyu ranks (ungraded ranks) are generally insecure and unsure of themselves for a time.  They are not certain if they can learn especially once they move into focused ukemi practice and kata.  Everything is awkward and uncoordinated and must essentially be learned from scratch since any prior athletic activity simply does not apply to what amounts to an entirely new physical paradigm.  Being supportive of their efforts and positive in your opinion as-to their eventual success works well as does personal hands-on for practice of fundamentals and basic kata.

Upper kyu ranks are discovering that learning comes faster, easier, and more intuitive as the internalization of the basic principles and fundamental movements are ingrained.  However, doubt begins to creep into the Bushido mind-set and the deshi begins to question whether making black belt is possible.  Again, positive support combined with encouragement to not quit but instead to press forward is important.  Also, important here to note is communicating to the deshi how Shodan is only (and literally) the first step in a life-long journey.

Shodanitis can hit the new Yudansha.  Having working so hard, so diligently and for so long they become overly prideful and conscious of that new black obi.  They may (or may not) primp and prance but generally Shodanitis appears as a “I know a lot of stuff” attitude.  The fact of the matter is that they do (know a lot of stuff that is) but that slight touch of arrogance fails to take into account how much they actually don’t know (which is a lot).  After a while with some patience and on the part of the senior players, and being told that yes, they should be proud (but not too proud) of their accomplishments they come down off the pinnacle and realize that Shodan is actually nothing more than one very small step on the path to the future as a Bushi and that the serious studies are only just getting started.

At around 3^rd dan and 4^th dan many martial artists get bitten by the bug.  When they first started, they had pretty low goals.  My goal when I first began training in Aikido for example was to make 3^rd dan.  My Sensei at the time was only a 4^th in Aikido (in later years he was promoted to 6^th dan by Tomiki Sensei and eventually he made 8^th dan and then 10^th dan) so as far as I knew at the time, my Aikido career would top-out at 3^rd dan.  Once my Sensei made much higher rank my goals changed, and I became driven to make 6^th dan and began to work towards that goal.  In many ways I became obsessive about it and constantly approached (pestered) higher ranks looking for new information and more keiko (deeply focused practice).  After Sensei told me that I would get there eventually simply by being steady (not in a real hurry) and not quitting (just make a steady calendar appointment for myself) I relaxed a little and learned to focus on the journey and not the goal as-they-say.

At 6^th dan you may find yourself abusing junior ranks because it has become all too easy and natural.  Taking kuzushi, controlling their body, throwing them at will is so elementary that you become “Sensei of Throw Too Hard and Too Fast” and even other yudansha may shy away from working with you.  Is it an ego issue?  Yes and no.  It is because you feel so good about your abilities, but it is not because everything has become so easy that you forget that others cannot train at your level, nor can they take ukemi at the high speeds that you now can.  You simply do the waza and at times don’t realize that while you may not be deliberately physically abusive, the younger student is being intimidated beyond belief at how helpless he feels or how unsure about taking those dynamic ukemi.  So in that sense, it could be considered emotional intimidation.  Once the realization of these dynamics sets in then the solution is simple; work slower with less power.  This benefits your long-term learning since the slower pace lends itself to better neuromuscular programming and won’t intimidate lower ranks as easily as they gain confidence.

At 7^th dan or so, you may find yourself thinking that you are largely above teaching beginners, thus missing the entire idea that today’s white belt is your uke tomorrow.  You may find that management is difficult (since you are now in senior management) and this would include; difficult to run the mat since some nights it’s like herding kittens, managing the deshi and being sure they get along with each other and train safely, watching the clock as to when to start, teach the lesson and end class, have a lesson, train yourself, teach others, speak with visitors, and work to advance the seniors with out-of-class training.  Basically, time management and organization become critical issues and if not cautious it can become frustrating as you swirl the plates on sticks like a circus show.

When you finally make 8^th dan (or above since some styles award higher ranks) it becomes an entirely different set of issues to deal with.  Sometimes you become so bored with teaching the same beginning ideas repeatedly with little visible progress that you find you cannot.  You are bored and impatient.  Everything has become so incredibly easy that you simply cannot understand why new deshi can’t learn it.  You want to quit but it has become such an integral part of your very existence that you can’t, so you continue. 

By stepping back and taking in the larger picture, you eventually realize that by teaching beginners and lower ranks you come to appreciate the courage it takes to start and then to continue with the study.  By considering that larger picture you remember the growth process that you went through and how the senior ranks were patient and thoughtful in their approach to your progress.  Basically, you begin to understand the psychology of it all and become a better teacher, and a better human being.

Every rank has its own set of issues and challenges to observe, consider, and then overcome.  What is truly important is not whether every rank, every issue, and every solution has been listed here but instead, the realization that each step in our advancement (not just martial arts but life in general) has hurdles to leap and that each successful leap (in understanding) only helps us grow as a human and as a martial artist and better enables us to pull forward those who are behind us.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

December 8, 2021

179. Killer Instinct (not the song)

Before you ask; no, it is not a line from the latest video game or movie.  It is a description of what we see on the mat many times as-to whether a deshi can be trained to be responsive to actual attacks.

One of our senior players once had a conversation with another Yudansha and basically told him that he should not get in a fight with anyone as the outcome might not be to his advantage; as-in he would likely get his butt kicked.  As related, the conversation went on to describe the three primary responses to a threat that suddenly occurs with those three responses not being the more normally cited “Fight or Flight” but instead, “Fight, Flight, or Freeze”.  The deshi in question has the “Freeze” response to the point at which when I would work to train him in randori and put my hand in his face his eyes would get big and he would jerk back like I had rubbed my feet on the carpet and had given him some “static shock”.

The first two responses are obvious in what they are.  You get attacked and don’t have any real time in which to decide what to do so you automatically fight the threat (and hopefully you’ve had some training).  In the second you instinctively run.  Sometimes taking flight is the better part of valor if you are able. 

The first two choices of fight or flight (run or fight to survive) both stand the better chance of survival for the organism (that’s you) and many consider them part of the natural evolutionary process of what Darwin referred to as “survival of the species”.  Fighting may get you hurt but sometimes it works well and the ability to stand and face-off (showing the attacker that you are willing) can stop the conflict to begin with, so there is that.  Flight may mean they chase you down from behind but if you run fast enough it may not matter and then if unable to escape and realizing that it can’t be avoided you switch into Fight mode.

Freeze on the other hand poses a whole different set of problems not the least of which is what happens.  You might have been able to fight your way out of it or run your way out of it but instead, you Freeze like a rabbit trying to hide under a bush from that circling hawk.  The hawk sees lunch and by not moving you in effect have become a selection on the cafeteria food line.  Then when the attacker lands that first blow, it becomes game over.

The whole of humanity as a broad average likely leans toward the Flight response due to inner fears over being able to handle the situation (especially after an intuitive evaluation with the recognition of the superiority of the attacker) and sometimes due to upbringing such as being trained to avoid conflict by negotiating or apologizing. 

Unfortunately however, there are those attackers who have little interest in either negotiations or apologies.  This is what martial arts and training in self-defense is supposed to teach and give us; the ability to Fight or at a minimum, the ability to stay calm long enough to evaluate the situation and recognize when Fight is possible and when Flight (or conflict avoidance) might be a better choice.

What does Killer instinct consist of, where is it, what is it?  Basically, it is the ability to savagely address the threat, to run towards the gunfire, to react aggressively to stop the problem.  It is either totally instinctual, or readily trainable, or just not there.

It was once said that Charles Manson was part of that 5% or so of the population that is naturally and automatically violent.  Remember that the Bell Curve dictates that at the bottom a certain percentage are just murderous psychopaths without remorse for their actions and at the top a certain percentage is completely “Love is Now” and would not step on a cockroach even if it bit them and tore off a toe.  All the rest of us fall somewhere (by degrees) in the middle of the curves’ hump.

So, if the psychopaths are “always sitting on ready and rocking on go” and might be the bottom 5% of the Bell Curve and the non-violent to the point of consciously not engaging in self-defense (the “Love is Now” folks) are at the other end and are roughly 5% (just to pick an estimate) where do the rest of us fall?

Without any viable studies to lean on but having trained in and taught martial arts (and having by necessity to study and evaluate the student population) for some 50 years, I’d simply use 1/3^rd, 1/3^rd, and a 1/3^rd; one third are easy to provoke to fight, one third are hesitant but will with sufficient provocation, and one third will freeze in place and suffer the consequences. 

Who goes in the first third?  That would be military personnel, special forces (rangers, SEAL’s, Military Police), civilian police and law enforcement, martial sports competitors (boxing, wrestling, MMA, UFC).  This group while not blatantly violent does not shy away from violence or self-defense.  They are easy to train and with some guidance make competent martial artists who become disciplined.

The second third would be civilians who do not choose professions where violence is required but with some training and personal focus and discipline can become very effective at self-defense.  They may hesitate somewhat before engaging and may even in some cases have to take a few before getting angry enough to engage but once initiated, they don’t back off.

The third “third” are those who freeze.  They may go to a dojo and train in kata and maybe even some light randori but never shiai.  They may take lessons in “non-contact” boxing or some simple self-defense classes but bottom line, when suddenly attacked their brain turns off.  They might eventually choose to fight and to self-defend but only after massive and severe threats and injury to themselves and possibly to those around them.

So what does this mean and how does a dojo fit into this.  As Mushashi and many others have said, “How you train is how you fight”.  The only viable self-defense (unless you are overly big, overly strong, or have street experience from growing up) is a self-defense that stays within the guidelines of principle for the martial art you are training in (like good erect posture, weight on balls of feet, correct breathing, understanding of kuzushi, tsukuri, kake, knowing the waza correctly for example) and that is repeated hundreds if not thousands of times in order to make everything completely intuitive and automatic without thought.

One of the primary ideas behind such training is to embed the responses (of self-defense to an attack) so deeply within the subconscious mind that they override hesitation.  For the 1^st third, it improves the natural responses of self-defense, remembering that the first third already has the will to respond and run towards the gunfire so-to-speak.  The natural response is already there, and the training only refines it and deepens its technical effectiveness.

For the 2^nd third, the training improves and refines the natural response of self-defense but more importantly removes the hesitation in responding to the attack such that the defender needs less stimulus (abuse) to respond and go into action.

For the last 1/3^rd, that portion of the bell curve that is locked into the Freeze response, it is less certain.  Since Freeze is how they naturally respond then whether or not the training will be able to override it becomes questionable.  With sufficient training (read, “LOTS and “LOTS”) then it is possible that their subconscious can take control enabling a response.  The question then becomes what happens if their initial response fails (after they get hit in the face)?  The odds are that they will again Freeze at the shock of the blow.

So what is the solution for those whose natural response is to Freeze?  How do we as Sensei work them past that into effective responses and viable self-defense?  The only solution that I've seen in 50 years on the mat is reps.  And more reps and more training.  And much more training and many more reps and not stopping at any point to assume that you now have all the responses programmed.  Just stay with it.  For how long?  How about for your entire life ........

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

February 26, 2021

178. Kagami Biraki - 2021

Kagami Biraki.  Mirror Opening.  What is that?

Renewal?  Re-dedication?  Rising Spirit?  Fresh beginnings?  Change of course toward new horizons?

It's all and none of that in the view of many.  Sometimes people tend to take the simple and make it complicated and Kagami Biraki is one of those areas.  It is is all but none of those.  Instead of some spiritual quest (which in-and-of itself can hinder any positive outcomes because of the deep implications) look instead at it as the something simple that so many make fun of; a New Years' Resolution.

We think of resolutions as getting back to the gym (lasts about 2 weeks for most), losing weight (lasts until you smell that pizza), getting along with family (lasts until that crazy uncle shows up and starts a fight), or drinking less (lasts until you find out the bartender is a "Craft Drink" kinda' expert and can make anything from a Perfect Manhattan to a Vesper exactly like Bond drank").

So instead of making resolutions you won't keep, or writing down a spiritual quest that will never happen, think about what you want .......... what - you - reeeaaallllly - want.  Since this newsletter is all about Bushido and training martial arts then what in that category holds the most interest for you right now .... right now this very instant as you read this?  Think and then pick up paper and pen and write it down.

It is to go to class 2x a week on a regular basis?  Then take out your calendar and pick those days and commit in writing to make those classes.

Is it making your next promotion, maybe to 1st degree black belt or higher?  Then write down to make an appointment to talk to Sensei about what you need to do and who he thinks would make a good uke/training partner to ask for help.

If you don't have a promotion coming up for a while then what new kata or type of drills do you need?  Go ask a senior rank.

How can you improve your Bushido philosophy?  Ask a senior rank what books they might recommend.

All you have to do is decide what is most important to you in Bushido right now and what you believe you'll hone in on and actually achieve.  Write it down and just follow through.  If it's not the more usual resolution that you failed at last year and the year before (lose weight, learn Spanish, etc. etc.) then ignore it and plan on reaching for and working towards what is important to you.  Kagami Biraki and New Years commitments are just that simple so don't over think it.  Just decide and then reach for that taco and pour stir yourself a Vesper.  Focus on what you can do and not what you can't do.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

January 31, 2021

177. Budo, Zen & Refusal

Learn something new about yourself?  Sorry Dude.  That’s outside my comfort zone. 

Lately there have been more than a few commentaries floated around out there that speak to the changes in the Zen community and how current Western thought has corrupted the realization process including the learning and the finding of our true self; that realization being replaced by social and cultural ideas of the moment.  Unfortunately for Budo, those changes have also impacted martial arts in much the same way.

In the viewpoint of some (true) Buddhist practitioners, Zennists as-it-were, one of the ideas behind following the teachings of Buddha is that of overcoming appearances and behavioral affectations in our lives that prevent us from understanding and realizing that our true nature (who we really and truly are, what our purest base essence is) is not what we think. 

Are we truly honest, or do we dishonestly spend our lives using situational ethics?  Are we a great parent, or do we just show up at birthdays while our spouse/nanny/grandparent does the tough work and the heavy lifting?  Are we moralistic, or do we steal the pencils at work and are we stingy with the tip for the waitress?  How we think of ourselves (or said another way how we “think” we act towards and relate to everything and everyone around us) and how we really act when viewed objectively can be two totally different things.  Think for a moment of “posturing”, “virtue signaling”, or being “smugly moralistic”.  Also consider the concept of “situational ethics”.

There is a word not often used but it just fits …… zeitgeist (“spirit of the time") or the entire pattern and picture of what is going on out there culturally, spiritually, religiously, and intellectually during a defined time-period in popular culture. 

Do we follow the zeitgeist; or do we swim upstream against the current like a spawning salmon in search of who we “truly are”?  Put another way, are we in search of the truth about our spirit despite what the social norms of the moment may be.  One is easy while the other difficult; and there lies the inherent conflict in the choice.

One of the themes or foundations of the current zeitgeist could describe the authentic Buddhist-Zennist practitioner who struggles with overcoming appearances (both sensory and mental) as being an “anti-realist” or going against the flow of popular culture.  The goal, the true goal, of their study is to one day achieve the state of being a Buddha which goes beyond appearances and is what Bodhidharma was talking about when he said to understand your true nature become a “Buddha.”  He also said: “Seeing your true nature is Zen. Unless you see your nature, it's not Zen”

Zen, esp. Western Zen these days, is no longer a kind of anti-realism but, instead, has been turned upside down being pro-realism as if to declare, “Live in the here and the now — there is nothing transcendent to realize.  You are already a Buddha.  You become and are fully self-realized not by doing the work of Zen but instead, by taking up social causes, saying the right things, owning the right things which at one time was referred to as “Keeping up the Jones’s” and gathering material possessions but today it has perhaps become wearing a “Che Guevara” t-shirt and marching for justice, drinking only sustainable coffee from socially active coffee shops, voicing support for the “cause du’joire”, eating vegan, and not wearing animal products.

None of those of course have a thing to do with true self-realization (they are only social ideas) but in the new perversion of “Zen” that is all it takes to “Become Buddha”.  If followers of the way were truly becoming Buddha then they would immediately understand that they were self-deluded and not self-realized and that social ideas have little to do with self-realization.

To understand and comprehend the breadth, depth, and the sense of this is to understand the current Zeitgeist which has morphed into a kind of personal despair called postmodernism which is a new kind of nihilism designed for personal destruction in a very Nietzsche-esque’ fashion.   The discovery and internalization of your actual identity, of your true nature is sacrificed in favor of wallowing in feelings, appearances, and affectations, joining the right crowd and being seen supporting the right causes.

We should describe this nihilistic life as “realized worthlessness”, a life status in which the normally seen Modus Operandi is drugs and alcohol, posturing, smugness, and arrogance that is sometimes backed by overeducation and credentialing signifying an “intellectual superiority”; basically, a self-medicated or self-therapeutic way of life that is little more than an attempt to alleviate the pain of a meaningless existence by demonstrating moral superiority over others.

A teacher is supposed to teach the student something that they do not already know, rather than what the student expects or wishes to learn.  Students who want to be taught what they expect Zen Buddhism to be when it is not that way, and who cannot tolerate a teacher who takes them beyond their comfort zone, are little more than beginners, ignorant ones at that.  They will never advance because they came to Zen and Buddhism with their minds already made up as to what those are (or should be).  Worse yet, they base their opinions on articles or books written by non-Zennists,, or they have had “deep” conversations with others who are also beginners and who themselves are equally into posturing, virtue signaling, and their own affectations; something that the current Zeitgeist refers to as “living in a bubble”.

For anyone to learn, to become Buddha, or as I prefer to say, becoming a “Zennist”, they must be accepting of the truth that their assumptions about Zen and Buddhism have to be abandoned and that what they think to be The Way, is only an illusion.

And so it also is with Budo.

The very term Budo in and of itself is misleading.  Martial arts in Japan up until the Meiji Restoration, were more correctly considered as being Bushido, and of being koryu or old flow; Budo not really coming into play until the dictates of SCAP or Supreme Command Allied Pacific occupation forces which for a time outlawed the practice of martial arts and ways until a more sportive form of “Budo” instead of “Bujutsu” could be formed; ergo “kenjutsu” became “kendo”, “Aikijutsu” became “Aikido”, etc. 

The term Bushido can be hotly debated (primarily due to Nitobe’s writings that many believe distorted its origins) but there are writings that refer to the overall concept as far back as the 1600’s.  Bushido can be described as the “outward appearance” of behavioral norms for the Samurai, but the truth of koryu is a martial system that contains educational pedagogy designed to teach the psychology of combat and of life and death, strategies of combat whether individual vs individual or divisions of Samurai, and techniques of fighting that were designed to ensure victory (read “total incapacitation of the opponent” or death).

This was the reality of being Samurai whether during the waring periods or the times of peace in which even dueling was prohibited (but still done none-the-less).

Concurrent with the decline in Zen and the degradation of the work necessary to “Become Buddha” is the view of Aikido and of other martial arts systems as being less than what they were.  Discussion of death is frowned upon and is not very marketable in today’s climes.  Teaching technique as being functionally used to disable or kill the opponent is discouraged in favor of “blending spirits” and improvement of “body, mind, spirit”.  Even the milder term of “self-defense” is frowned upon in many cases because the martial arts are either baby sitting children or becoming “self-realized” adults.

While koryu forms emphasized those aspects of martial arts such as life and death and how to perform those for ourselves or on others, the truth is that they also could result in improvement of the individual as evidenced by Mushashi’s writings in his final days for example after a lifetime of shugyo.  They were not automatically mutually exclusive and could be and were taught side by side.  Kamakura Zen is an example of how to face life, how to face death, and how to leave the temple as being “more” than we were when we walked in as a monjin (standing at the gate) and petitioning to become a deshi (disciple).

Learning how to consider and to face death (and its natural corollary of life) doesn’t mean that you run out today and kill the first person you see.  Most martial artists never use their skills in anger but they find through years or a lifetime of study that the study in and of itself makes one a better person overall who becomes more peaceful because of the deep understanding of what violence really means.  Ignoring the truth of Bushido and of Zen only creates someone with an incomplete view of the reality that they pretend to seek, but are really not as they work to self-validate their distorted views of who they are and of what "their" reality may be in their eyes.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

January 8, 2021

176. Don't Tell Me

“Better men than I” or so the saying goes built what we now consider as martial arts.  If we consider that the original construct(s) are based on actual field (combat) experience that the first teacher of the ryu/system survived, and then additionally consider that subsequent teachers added teaching drills and forms over successive generations also based upon their field experiences or overall knowledge of martial arts acquired over their lifetime, then the system and the order of learning it has value and should be closely adhered to as it comes from a “proven” standpoint and not one of theory.

As a quick example, what is a logical teaching progression?  Warm-up drills which in many ryu contains basic physical movements that appear in the kata forms and that begin the process of neurological programming.  Then would be drills and kata that teach the fundamental and most important operating principles and movements.  Then basic forms of combat and self-defense.  Then increasingly complex intermediate kata that would be considered advanced but likely without any of the secret propriety advanced or hidden ideas or the heiho or martial strategies.  Then advanced kata containing the “secrets” of the ryu and that teach the prospective and future teachers how to teach the basic, intermediate, advanced, and secret ideas to their future students and perpetuate the system.  In effect it is a construct of learning, then doing, then teaching and then preserving; and to be and remain as such all should be learned in the proper order and at the appropriate time.

Anyone who has ever run a dojo has been confronted by the problem of deshi who, after reaching a high rank but who have not yet learned the system, have essentially jumped ahead and have “picked” the kata they like the best.  By making those choices of “likes” and “not like as much” and even “don’t like that one at all” they start to train those favorites and ignore the rest which has the effect of interrupting the flow of learning and potentially leaving large gaps in their knowledge base, translating to a lack of functional and combative ability.

In the classical Tomiki Ryu that we teach and that is not “focused” or “as focused” on competition, the kata and drills are set up in a teaching/learning sequence that is designed to work (in a sense) on a simple linear scale of basic to most advanced; or if you like from “most” important of the basic fundamentals that make it all work, to the “least” important kata, waza, and drills that may only look at one or two arcane ideas at a time, or that are simply enhancements of the basic forms that show how to teach or or simple variants.

In a very real sense the intermediate and advanced kata and drills are also set up as “links” to the basics or as “branching points” that show the failure of one technique, thereby leading into another or said otherwise, a branching point such that you learn “if he does this then I can do this” or “if he counters this movement then it shows me an opening to do this movement”.

In Tomiki Ryu the first true kata of any import taught is known as Ju Nana Hon or “The 17”.  Another name is “The 17 Attack Movements” (self-defense applications) or “Randori no Kata” (forms of randori and of competition).  Many of these forms which are taught in four sections in the order of striking/sesparation, elbow and shoulder locking, wrist locking, or floating/throwing, can be considered branching points.  The first two striking techniques for example can be reversed into sutemi waza or sacrifice techniques should the strike fail and the aggressor pushes back against the defender; therefore a complete study of the first two strikes should at some point include at least an elementary study of sacrifice throws.  Additionally, a failure of the first strike puts the defender in a perfect position for an entry into a strangulation from the front so neck locking should also be explored as part of the overall study.

The fifth waza in “The 17” is Ushiro-ate or strike from behind/reverse strike.  Because the entry for this technique puts the defender directly behind the aggressor then a study of strangulations from behind is called for as an expansion on the possible ideas and applications for being behind the aggressor.  A failure to learn those possibilities could result in a brain-lock if the basic Ushiro-ate fails and an immediate action must be taken, but the defender has none since those possibilities have never been studied; the defender having limited his actions to only one technique.

In both these examples, the branch point provides an opportunity for exploring techniques and principles that are beyond the basic and intermediate study levels and they should be advantaged by the serious student once reaching the appropriate level of knowledge since some of the ideas are either very advanced and requiring physical coordination and intuitive movements beyond that of a beginner, or they may be dangerous should the student not have the adequate level of self-protective knowledge especially that of break falling.

All well-founded old flow martial arts are structured similarly with the same basic idea of teaching by steps and levels (absolute beginner, basic, intermediate, advanced, esoteric, etc.).  However, the idea of teaching within the order has a larger idea behind it.What does the teacher do with an intermediate/advanced student who is lacking ability in specific areas that overall are important in that students’ full development?

Some students as they rise with the ranks may not have spent enough time working on a specific kata.  This could be a relatively unimportant issue unless that kata is the precursor to other, more advanced kata or unless that kata contains specific ideas, fundamentals, and physical movements that will correct inadequacies in other areas.  For example within the Tomiki Ryu is an intermediate kata that is in three sections.  The first two sections show variations first seen within the beginner syllabus but the third section is a radical departure and begins the process of delving into advanced ideas of off-balancing the aggressor and learning hand exchanges; a critical issue for effective self-defense and further advancement.  If the student makes the personal decision to not study other kata that further explores those two ideas, instead deciding that the other additional kata are boring or not needed, then the overall development of the student will be retarded.

So in effect, by the Sensei allowing the student to decide his or her own course of study and what they will and will not learn and by not insisting that the student learn the kata that the Sensei deems important (or even critical) to the students growth and understanding, then that could permanently stop the students learning process, seizing their development, and locking them in place.

The student is not truly able to see what is needed for their own development, in much the same way as no one is able to see who is ready for promotion.  My old Sensei and I once discussed this idea and he like my description of it as the “Look Back”; if you don’t know all the kata and what each one will teach you then you don’t really know what you need to study “right now”, and if you are only a Yondan then you can’t recognize who else is ready for promotion to Yondan, much less any higher rank because you haven’t done the work and don’t have the understanding of what your own rank really means.

Bottom line and said a little more bluntly, don’t assume to tell the Sensei what you do and do not what to train in because you really do not know what you know or how well you know it, you don’t know what is important to your development right now at this moment, and you don’t know what your shortcomings may be that could be corrected in other areas by a study of that kata that you think you don’t like.

Once you make it through the material you can always “Look Back” from a higher perspective and know what you needed (or didn’t need) because at that point, you understand how it fits together and how much understanding (or lack of) you actually have (or had) so if Sensei says go work on this material or that material just accept it as part of your total learning package and development in mastering the ryu.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

September 21, 2020

175. Bushido & Incivility

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.  “Incivility as generally noted in the workplace has been defined as low-intensity deviant behavior with ambiguous intent to harm the target.  Uncivil behaviors are characteristically rude and discourteous, displaying a lack of regard for others.”  Unfortunately, in the degeneration of today’s society during Cootie-19 and all the other social issues, it may start as low-intensity action on the part of the aggressor but quickly rises to physical violence.

On a daily basis we see (thanks to CCTV security cameras and the now-endemic cell phone video) the initial “insults” or “aggressive verbal attack” can quickly turn into physical “beat-downs” as street people (denizens of the sidewalk, unemployed, bored, belligerent, and sometimes with an ax to grind) take out whatever frustrations their demons might be on the targeted victim who is generally random.

Cities large and small have always had this issue as it is part of the human condition but generally if someone stayed to themselves, avoided certain areas, used polite language, didn’t stare at someone as if issuing a silent challenge, and used good manners then the conflict could fairly easily be avoided.  Such is not the case in today’s environment.

How to avoid the beat-down and the conflict before it starts?

Martial arts, having originated on the battlefield, have always taught situational awareness; basically, having your head on a swivel and observing in a casual way everyone around you and making immediate value judgements on their threat level.  The value judgement could be based on the look in their eyes, the clothes they wear, or their overall attitude.

For example, if walking down a sidewalk and approaching someone coming in your direction who looks marginal then crossing to the other side of the street or making all attempts to avoid getting close enough to appear as a threat to the other person has a lot to be said for it.  However, as society de-evolves into a lawlessness, simple avoidance tactics become less and less effective as their internal demons express themselves as deviant behavior; with their demons essentially “having control” of the person.  Their focus on intent to harm makes avoidance difficult if not impossible as the violence seems to seek you out.

What to do?

Training in martial arts has several fundamentals underlying the entire idea (of training in battlefield tactics and strategies).  Some we know about as they are discussed all the time in writings about Modern Budo and by the instructors on the training floor at the dojo.  Such ideas as physical fitness, improving coordination, centering and mental focus, “discovering” who you are (and who you want to become) are most certainly important parts of normal training for the civilian who seeks improvement of body, mind, and spirit.  However, the “other” side of True-Budo includes the ability to step in decisively and take control of the encounter and to do so on an intuitive basis which is only garnered from your training.

One example of this learning to be decisive sticks in my mind to this day; some 50 years after the fact.  My hometown was a rough place to grow up.  It had a university (full of hormonal young people who were aggressive and barely out of high school), a military base (full of navy and marine personnel who were naturally trained in aggression so it only took a beer or two to set them off), ranches (full of cowboys who liked to party on Saturday night payday), and it was an oil town (with hundreds of cat skinners and rough necks who came off the rigs looking for a diversion).  For the most part if you kept to yourself and did not go looking for it, trouble avoided you.  On occasion however, a few found trouble and for those of us watching from the side, it could provide some brief entertainment along with a life lesson to be learned (at someone else’s expense).

One Saturday night at a burger stand a small group of military guys challenged a man to a fight.  At no point do I believe that five to one is a fair fight but since the man being challenged was my Tae Kwon Do instructor who at the time was world light-heavy weight champion then everyone there who knew him and his reputation just sat back and decided to watch and enjoy.  Remember that this was the late-1960’s before the advent of gloves and foot protectors and he was trained in full-contact, bare-knuckle fighting and most of his matches were won with a knock-out.  He did not believe in “point sparring”.

After the first punch was thrown, my Sensei lashed out with a kick to the stomach and dropped the first to his knees.  The second guy moved in and took a kick to the face and he was “one and done”.  The third guy moved in and took a beautiful reverse punch to the face and he fell backwards and was out before hitting the ground.  The moment was done because Sensei had dropped three guys in less time than it takes to type this paragraph and the rest of the gang, having seen how fast and decisive it was, backed off like crawdads being chased by a guy with a bucket and decided that running was the better part of not being dropped like a rock.

The lesson I learned was that if you cannot stay out the problem then taking control may work to solve the issue.  Bullies and aggressors act as such only until it is proven to them that the intended target is not that easy.  Being one of a group gives courage to the group, until the first aggressor (who is generally the leader) is put down and the rest begin to have second thoughts simply because the leader was the toughest in the group and suddenly, he’s not in the action any longer and everyone else is a lesser being.

People who train in martial arts learn skills that are not natural and that cannot be acquired from a book.  They are learned over years on the mat and hour after hour of practice.  It is true (unlike movies) that fighting 5 guys at once is not possible.  Instead, the martial artist learns strategies and only fights one person at time so if you can take out one at a time, the rest can be dissuaded.

The most important thing learned in training (keiko and shugyo) is the mental calmness and self-confidence it takes to not fear the aggressor(s) and to relax and accept the flow of the action.

Don’t be lazy.  Go to class and train intensely.  It could one day save you from the beat-down.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

July 24, 2020

174. Attending, Training, Keiko, Shugyo, and Cooties

Being six months into the latest Panic Porn incarnation of “We’re all gonna’ die” gives one the opportunity to consider how and when to learn.  We are finally out of lock down from Corona virus (some call it COVID-19 but I personally prefer the term Cootie-19) and are back on the mat with a few minor adjustments to the facilities and some safety measures.  Classes are small but gradually rebuilding as many deshi are fearful of the virus and its possible ramifications on their, and their relative’s health.  This is understandable if anyone is within the vulnerable population segments.

Since so many are not currently on the mat at a dojo (ours or anyone's) or for that matter not even in the gym and weight room working to cut that weight that was put on while working in their bedroom while wearing pajamas from the waist down (due to all the video conferencing) how we train once we get back to it (after the apocalypse ends) becomes all that more important.

When you suit up at the dojo do you “attend” class?  Do you go and do a little work on a couple of kata, follow the class lesson for a bit, then do some restroom and water with conversation and a couple of jokes thrown in?  Is it five minutes of work followed by 15 minutes of socialization?

When you suit up at the dojo do you “train”?  Do you work hard during class with few interruptions, no restroom break and minimal watering?  Do you work up a sweat trying to “get” the lesson, “understand” the waza, learn the material?  Are you seriously working on that new material and are you asking questions of Sensei on some of the more difficult areas that might be confusing you?

When you suit up at the dojo do you “keiko”?  Do you work hard like when you train but to that, do you add some deep contemplation on what you are doing, and why?  Do you strive to link the common elements of one waza to another to another?  Are you working towards the thought many advance of Aikido (or any true koryu or martial art) being “meditation in motion”; meaning that every action has purpose, teaches fundamentals, and is intended to change how you view the art form as you mature into a true player?

When you suit up at the dojo do you “shugyo”?  Do you make every class available?  Do you arrive early looking for someone to work with?  Do you stay late looking for someone to work with?  Do you plan for the next rank promotion, not by being anxious to get it but by methodically working through the required material, and then adding to it just for good measure?  Do you train in more than one narrow band-width (do you add a little Judo, Jodo, knife fighting, or some other area of study to your primary)?  Do you leave tired but satisfied at your efforts, and then come back next time and work twice as hard and leave twice as sweaty because you are pushing yourself physically and mentally as hard as you can?

These are important distinctions to consider.  We just came out of close to four full months of “Involuntary House Arrest” during which there was no training at all.  The key or the goal here is to begin to recognize that putting in the intensive mat time when you are able will be the key to getting back to the mat and quickly ramping up once life is finally back to normal (“normal?” …. What’s that?).

It does not have to be the fear of a global pandemic to teach yourself to stay in “shugyo” mode or even “keiko” mode.  As martial artists we should be there all the time.  Whether it’s a pandemic, or a weather event, or an intense work schedule that suddenly hits us from behind, or complex family issues that eat up our calendar we should always maximize our possible mat-time and our training intensity so that if we must handle long periods of no training then it will have minimal impact on our overall forward progress, making a re-start and regaining momentum on the mat all the easier .

Get to the mat and do some keiko with a little shugyo thrown in for good measure before the Murder Bees, Godzilla, flying sharks, zombie dwarves and elves, hungry orcs, another attack of The Cooties, or an alien invasion start.

You just never know.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

July 23, 2020

173. Anachronistic

Once upon a time in the west …… or the east ….. or wherever ….. folks wandered into a dojo looking for the magic of Budo (self-improvement and all that), for the intellectual challenge of learning something never before seen in their home town (“Can I wear a Samurai topknot under my Stetson?”), or to learn a practical method of self-defense (aka, how to not be shoved into the lockers at high school and be given 1^st spot in the food service line for enchilada Friday in the cafeteria).

New prospective students walked in, asked good questions, showed interest, signed up, and like many of us stayed with the same Sensei for decades; leaving only after having squeezed the sponge dry and hitting a high-enough rank to be able to honestly make the claim that they actually trained and learned and knew something.

Today those folks are still out there but it seems that they are there in lesser numbers as many applicants to today’s dojo seem not as interested in learning; just in gaining rank or status, or in checking off one more box on their punch-list.  They visit class to observe and ask whether we teach the technique they saw in a video game (yes, I’ve had that specific question put to me).  They send an email with a photo attached and, in the photo, they have colored hair, tattoos, and enough piercings to start a jewelry store.  I don’t care about the hair (one of my Japanese Sensei had purple hair and I was told that only descendants of senior Samurai families could color their hair like that as it close to being a sign of royalty).  Tat’s don’t bother me as I have two already and am looking at a third (my wife and daughter both have more tat’s than I do).

Then they never make contact again even after an open invitation is extended, which begs the question …. why the photo if you never intended to show up?  Why the “personal touch” of too much information including your sexual preference (yes, I have even had that given me before …. but why …. because I didn’t ask and really don’t care).  Do you always send photo’s to strangers?  The dojo email and messenger app are not dating apps are they, so why treat them as such?

Sometimes visitors show up and they don’t have the colored hair or the tat’s but they have the piercings complete with nose rings and ear plugs.  One guy came in and his first night in the dressing room everyone noticed that he had pierced nipples so it was no wonder he complained about the pain when we taught grappling one night.  One guy showed up in a dress with his hair in French braids hair down below his shoulders and in the braids, he had woven metal bells.  Oh my, how he jingled when he walked.  When told that the bells in the hair had to go (might hit someone in the face when training) and that the nose rings weren’t safe (might get hooked by someone’s finger and jerked out, don’t need blood on the mat) and that the ear plugs might get torn out (don’t need that blood on the mat either) he was offended and left.  Oh well.  One less future problem to prepare for.

So, do you want to train or not?  Or are your personal affectations more important than learning something new and improving who you are as you progress?

We old-sters (maybe “Mat Fossils” is a better term) no longer understand a culture in which people seem to think that rank is simply gifted and not earned, that rank and status are more important than becoming a better human being by improving mind, body, and spirit, or not comprehending that adopting a “martial arts” mindset of sorts is a necessary part of learning some pretty sophisticated and powerful material.

We no longer understand how someone can walk into a dojo claiming to want to learn but bear personal affectations (with the concurrent attitudes) such that training is neigh-on impossible; and yet they still expect to be allowed on the mat and to be promoted in quick time no-less.

Yeah, yeah …. now the naysayers are going to tell me that martial arts have always been about rank and that if someone trains even a little bit then they should be promoted just because they tried.  Well, martial arts have always been about rank but only in the sense that the rank signifies the work put into gaining the overall knowledge and ability, along with the growth (and improvement) of their body, mind, and spirit. 

So yes, they’ve always been about rank but not to the commercialized levels we see these days where dojo drop their standards just to get money paying bodies in the door; and certainly not with the strange humans walking into the dojo.  So what we’re seeing (not all the time mind you but on occasion) are prospective students coming in with a life-style that contradicts the requirements of actually training; and that life-style reflects the idea of entitlement as-in, “If I show up for class once in a while and remember to wash my gi on occasion, then I’ll be promoted even if I’m not really up to speed on the material”. 

This attitude is even being seen (for some time now) in corporate America where I was told the story of a man who straight out of university was hired at a large corporation (with what was likely a 6-figure salary) and on his first day at work was seen sporting an ear-stud.  His new employer could be accused of having no sense of humor as he was apparently told that if he showed up the next day with the ear-stud that he shouldn’t bother coming in at all; so much for that posh overpaid executive position.

When you sign up at a dojo and become a deshi (a word that roughly translates as “disciple”) you are expected to adopt certain behavioral aspects.  The color of your hair is not important.  The number of tattoos is not important.  What is important is understanding that body piercing can be dangerous and is therefore not desired; along with the realization of the need for good hygiene and the correct clothing (a clean gi & hakama, trimmed toenails).  Becoming a disciple doesn’t mean joining an abbey, becoming a Marine vegan, it doesn’t mean carrying the gi bags of the senior students, but it does mean devoting yourself to learning and adopting the means by which you can learn.  Basically, it means following the forms and the rules that over decades, centuries in fact, have proven most effective in allowing you to learn and to become the martial artist you have decided you to be.

Enclothed cognition is the psychological concept that states that how you dress affects how you think.  In other words, dress like a samurai and start to think and behave like one.  This concept is one of the key ideas behind a study of koryu and indeed of all serious martial arts that are structured to change who you are by giving you knowledge and abilities that you’ve never had before.  Thinking in the patterns that the reishiki describes and the kata flows in will over time change the way in which you view the work, which will lead to understanding how the Samurai had to think when using the movements in actual combat.  Understanding the mind-set leads to a change in how you in turn consider exposure points in your kamae, and openings in the opponents’ kamae.  “Becoming” the kata, performing the kata in the way it was designed, doing the work as an “old flow” system makes it effective in adapting to combative exchanges as it came from battles that likely had limited outcomes (you die, I die, we both die, we’re both chopped up so bad that we wish we had died).

In a sense this is what combat consists of; kamae that either offer an opening (in the attempt to appear weak and draw the opponent in), kamae that are strategic (such as Mushashi’s concept of “open on all sides”), or kamae that allow you to “spring-board in” so-as to advantage openings in the opponents posture.  Not taking the concept seriously and attempting to make the kata “yours” by changing the way you view and perform it in order to suit some personal idea nullifies its’ effectiveness.

Aikido is one of the worse but all martial arts today seem infected with the idea that a student is supposed to study (to some degree, or not), learn something (how well may be debatable) and then at some undesignated “future time”, understand the art form such that they can, “make it their own”.  They totally miss one of the central themes of koryu which is that you don’t change the art to fit you; the art changes you to fit it including body posture and movement, reaction to stimuli, and mental attitude.  This is a key component behind the concept of actually “learning” something instead of “being exposed” to it.

Sensei, as they screen prospective deshi for admittance to the dojo have to learn to ask questions of dojo visitors in an attempt to discern whether the monjin (person standing at the gate) will be a serious player or just a tourist; a nice tourist but still, just a tourist.  By working to analyze intent and commitment which is done by subjectively judging their adaptability and willingness to drop affectations (thus becoming a deshi) the Sensei can understand who to focus the most attention on (and who to look out for); understanding of course that there are beginners that at some point become seriously devoted to the entire idea of koryu and budo.  Flexibility in judging and categorizing deshi, combined with understanding the issues at hand is invaluable to any serious sensei.

As the saying goes, “To acquire something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before” and the same holds true for both senior long-time players, and beginners.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

February 17, 2020

172. No Future

Life is not for wimps; or so they say.  I believe that.  I really do after the last couple of years.  Aside from the normal politics, economic and jobs issues, international war and pandemic scares, there’s the other 500-pound gorilla in the room; health.

I had an interesting discussion with an old Aikido student recently in which he shared how someone he knew (a relative I think) views life and aging.  If I can get this right; you know you’re getting old when all the actors, actresses, and singers you grew up start dying off because they are older than you.  For me that’s guys like John Wayne and David Bowie. 

Then you really start feeling old when your family starts dying off since everyone (except possibly your brother, sisters, and cousins) are older than you (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles).  Then you really, really start feeling it (the grim reaper staring over your shoulder) when all your high school graduating class starts to go.  And then the only thing worse is the loss of a child or the loss of your sibling’s or a close friends’ child who are supposed to outlive you, but for whatever perverse reasoning the universe has up its sleeve, they pass before you do.

He told me that theory of life and death and then he said, “At some point you look up and realize that it’s over and you have no future”; in effect implying that once you hit a certain age that you are basically (not to pun movies or tv shows) “Deadman Walking” or “Walking Dead”.

I thought about it at that point and half-way considered that maybe he was right.  I had just turned 68 and according to the insurance mortality tables for a man born in 1951 I, having just turned 68, shouldn’t live past 72 ½ even though today’s male life expectancy is 78 ½.   Then I mentioned to him that last year alone three of my wife’s relatives, five people I went to high school with and two of my neighbors had all passed.  I found the high school deaths on-line from the mortuary in my hometown where they still lived but who knows how many others passed in other parts of the country that I don’t know about.  What I do know is that every 5 years my high school reunions are progressively smaller.

Well, thanks to him and that cheerful conversation I had to take that one home and think about it over at least 2 really stiff martini’s and then wine with supper.  And the next day a cigar on the front porch washed down with a stout beer that was so dark it looked like “death at midnight” (groan) which helped me to process that thought experiment.  And then I decided, “Nope.  That’s just not right and not even on the mark; not even close.  That boy was totally off the mark and I think I am to ignore it”.

Consider: if we measure our future by how much time we “think” we “should” have left and then compare that to the reality of life, the universe, and all that, then really and truly none of us have any future at all and therefore should just live like a monk in a cave and not plan for anything other than “one bowl, one robe, one depressing sutra repeated 10,000 times” shortly followed by a sky-burial.

Think about it.  A 3-year-old baby dies of cancer so where was the future that we think the child should have had?  Where did that 80 years go?  Until the child became ill, he should have already been planning for the next 80 years.  It was just the universe striking out that determined his fate; but not knowing when the universe will strike is no reason to not plan for as much future accomplishment and life as you can.

Think about the other end of the time-line.  A 70 year old man is diagnosed with heart disease or cancer.  Everyone looks at him as being 70 and therefore close to his life expectancy of 78.5 years as per the insurance mortality tables and therefore having no future at all so why plan anything other than tonight’s martini and bedtime? 

Everyone forgets however that with a change in life-style that the progression of his heart disease could be stopped and possibly reversed.  They also forget that depending upon what the cancer diagnosis was, that the 70 year could have another 10 to 15 years to go; maybe even 20.  I know of one individual whose father is now in his early 80’s, just got re-married and who was diagnosed with prostate cancer over 20 years ago.  Should he have just given up and not have planned for a future?

I know of a man who is a 5-year survivor of pancreatic cancer which is normally fatal within 6 months.  Should he have given up and just mentally passed away right there on the spot?  Does he know exactly “when” the universe will strike?  Should he plan for no future; or make his future until it’s not?

I know of a Sensei who teaches iai, ken, and jodo who was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Hormone treatments keep him going and he plans for future training events and gradings by bringing over Japanese Sensei.  Does he know exactly “when” the universe will strike?  Should he not plan for a future; or should he charge into his future waiving his katana until he can’t?

If no one can predict how long the 3-year-old has for his future then no one can predict how long the 50, 60, or 70-year-old has for theirs.  It’s just not possible to determine the roll of the dice.  You can die at 50 just as easily as you can die at 80 so should you stop having a future at either of those ages?  Maybe the 80-year-old makes it to 100 (I know at least one of those) and maybe the 50 year old makes it to next week.  Should either “not” have a future?

Some say that the older we get the more we’re living on borrowed time.  Yes.  That’s true, but so is the 3-year-old child, the 20-year-old college student, the 50 year old father or mother of 2, or the 65 or 70 year old with prostate cancer or some other medical condition that may be curable or manageable over a long term that could actually give another 10, 15, or 20 years. 

How much life and planning can one live over the next 20 years?  Certainly, as much as the 50-year-old and maybe even the college student mapping out his professional career over the next few decades (with him having no idea as-to whether he’ll live that long or die in a DUI car accident after a fraternity rush party).  When will any of them be struck by the “Cosmic Concrete Truck”?  20 years is enough time to go back to college and have a second career if you want.  If you can’t say with certainty how much time is left, then you can’t say that any single person has “no future”.

Now it is true that all this existential discussion comes to an end at some point.  On a long enough timeline, the rate of survival for everyone hits absolute zero and as a good friend who himself is healthy and an active senior teacher in a dojo and who will never see his 80^th birthday again say, “None of us are getting out of this alive”. 

If you’re still alive at age 110 and possibly can’t get very far away from your couch, then all that future planning may be limited to the next glass of wine and the next tv show.  “Hmmm?  Red wine or a nice Pinot?  Nurse, please pass the water crackers with a little crumble of stilton.  Thank you so much”.  And if you look up one day at age 30 and are diagnosed with something clearly fatal that is not curable, treatable, or manageable then that’s another story.  But for the rest of us, giving up on our future is a nihilistic decision and is to be avoided regardless of our age or medical issues; all else being even.

How long will you live if you’re 5 years old, 10, 20, 40, 50, 70?  If you don’t know then you absolutely should be planning on that new job, career change, college degree, vacation, or if you’re in martial arts and are still at Shodan, get cracking on planning for and making 6^th dan.  If you were planning on quitting the dojo and stopping your training, or if you’re a Sensei running the place and thinking about closing the doors …. just don’t.  Find a younger guy to take it over and pass it down and stay on the mat while you plan that next big vacation with the wife and go to Hawaii, or Banff, or the Cayman's, or take that African safari.  Who cares if it will take 3 years of planning?  Remember; if you don’t know the when and the how right now at this moment, then you do have a future to plan for so stop hesitating about committing every time someone talks about an event that won’t occur until next year.

If you are above ground looking at the green side of the grass instead of under it looking at the brown side of the grass, you have a future that cannot be determined.  Make the most of it and just ignore the fatalistic naysayers (and stay away from them too since they are what many people call a “Debbie-Downer”).  No one likes a Debbie-Downer anyway and besides …. most of the time Debbie doesn’t take good ukemi so find another uke.

L.F. Wilkinson Kancho

The Aikibudokan

Houston, TX

February 10, 2020