A rock and roll singer once used the phrase “… are you experienced …” in a song to express a sentiment; so, to paraphrase, “… are you elegant …”.
Elegance is neither elusive nor elitist as some may think; it is, however, difficult to achieve in an effective and believable fashion, as it contains more “mental” than “exhibited” traits although exhibited traits are definitely part of the picture.
Simply buying expensive clothes or pursuing the latest “thing”, always buying the priciest fragrance in the store, going “commando” like the rest of the guys down at the sports bar, following the newest clothing trends from Hollywood or shoe trends from New York, or adopting and posturing a physical attitude that is demeaning to others (by the nature of its’ very arrogance, think “let them eat cake”) doesn’t bestow elegance upon anyone. Elegance is between the ears first, and only after becoming part of you will it begin to manifest itself through seemingly very small but extremely important changes in your dress, behavior, language, and attitude.
Elegance “becomes” you. You do not “become” elegance. It takes control of you and reshapes who you are. You do not “seek” it out to achieve it. You simply look up one day and discover that associates are looking at you in a new, more respectful light and only then do you discover the idea of “not” seeking something that you gain and of “not” trying to deliberately do anything. Another way of considering it is the idea of the journey being more important than the goal; the goal having not been set as a “goal” when the journey began and you’re simply following the path.
Very “Zennish” isn’t it? Living and shaping your existence to be “simplicity” generally is.
Many years ago I read a novel that focused on the story of a man’s life-long effort to achieve shibumi, the Japanese concept of “restrained elegance”. One of the leading characters’ teachers was a Sensei teaching the game of Go who told him that shibumi was not something that could be worked on like a project at the office but, instead is discovered or put in another way, “grown into”. It also should not simply be another goal set for achievement and recognition; instead, one must pass through knowledge and arrive at simplicity. Shibumi has been described as a very Zen state of unpretentious perfection, common in appearance but deep like an ocean. Not flashy. Simple.
So how does this apply to Aikido on the tatami and life off the tatami.
Shibumi has to do with refinement that belies commonplace appearance. It is a statement of fact or reality that is so totally correct that it does not have to be bold or blunt to make the point. It is so touching or emotional that it does not have to be pretty and so true it does not have to be real.
Shibumi is understanding, rather than knowledge. It is expressive silence, and in your demeanor it is modesty with no shame or embarrassment. In art it is elegant simplicity. In a man’s personality and behavior, it is quiet authority without domination or intimidation.
Examples of this can be illustrated by looking at some simple dojo examples;
When doing an embu or promotional demonstration showing control over your body by using minimal movements as opposed to swinging your arms back and forth as you move into or out of position for the kata and next technique. Look coordinated and in control instead of looking and moving in a “sloppy” fashion.
Not preening by continually “fixing” and “fluffing” your hair or adjusting your gi, all that excessive and unnecessary movement indicating that your subconscious is preoccupied on something other than the opponent while minimal body movements (only the movement needed in that moment) shows a quiet focus and comportment (and body/posture awareness).
Wearing a “quiet” gi indicating only your name or maybe a small dojo patch; as opposed to your gi looking like you drive for NASCAR and you have 3 dozen sponsors. A quiet gi allows onlookers to focus more on you than the distracting information on the gi and doesn’t work to ostentatiously call attention to you by your clothing.
Focus your conversation on the work and your fellow deshi and when discussing martial arts don’t brag about things done or not done and don’t exaggerate. Discuss the techniques in an academic way instead of the immature, “Yeah, I could really __________ (fill in the blanks) with this”. Understatement many times is much more effective than the opposite.
Acting a little quiet and thoughtful when on the mat instead of being loud and brash. Sometimes the quiet man draws the attention since he is seen as pausing to consider before offering the studied opinion, that pause drawing more respect than being “out there”.
This of course can be extended outside the dojo but then again, we are working on Bushido and dojo ideas.
L.F. Wilkinson Kancho
The Aikibudokan
Houston, TX
February 12. 2023
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