The Thoughtful Sensei-Aikido Musings

Interlude - Peace Be Upon the Mat or, A Snap-Comment for a Friday

Today's "Snap Comment" as we clean-up the work before closing down for the week and reflect upon the eventful last 8 days.

Preparing & packing to make my first MA seminar road trip in several years.  In fact, it is the first in almost 15 years in which I will be a student instead of the feature Sensei.  I'm looking forward to it since it will be enjoyable to be able to just sit there and learn instead of spending three days being on point.  Shucks .... I even washed my fundoichi for the trip.  Sometimes being the Sensei is a little stressful since you feel that you have to really focus on presentation (and wearing a clean gi) and setting a good example for the deshi and the visitors and guests to see me and to emulate my presentation as Sensei.  After all, if they are there to learn from you then you have to wear your best face and uphold your reputation.

This been an eventful week for me.  I've expelled two senior Yudansha for cause, I've picked up a half-dozen new deshi during a bad economy, my insurance agency had an upswing this week, two old deshi whom I thought were gone both came back with compliments for how I run the dojo (after seeing everyone else out there in Budo-Land) and have re-upped and I picked up a very experienced Iwama Ryu Nidan who apparently really liked what he saw and is excited about new learning opportunities.  On the other hand, I'm personally excited about working with someone with a decade in a different form of Aikido (but that is so similar) which reaffirms my view of hard work on the basics and exacting precision.  I view it as an opportunity to expand my understanding and more particularly to expose my senior people to someone who brings experiences to the mat they don't have (yet).

When I was first in Aikido many years ago I had the great fortune to train under several people including a man who had an impeccable reputation for fairness, objectivity, ethics and moral behavior (in addition to having a dynamite foot sweep and Aikido randori game).  I stayed with him as his student for about 20 years after having moved to Houston because he was, in many people's minds, THE exemplar of what a Judo/Aikido Sensei should be in how to teach and how to treat people fairly.  Even after a disastrous divorce those of us who helped him thru' it commented to each other that he really was what he presented himself as being (a real Budo man who did what it took to survive, be positive and to move on with his training and his teaching).

Sadly, as time went by and life placed its burdens upon him, as it does us all, he changed; gradually over time but the change was apparent.  Before, his policy had been to never discuss with his students or guests the big three forbidden topics (sex, religion, politics) or to criticize any other persons beliefs or actions (as long it didn't impact the mat).  It was his feeling, as I remember, that to do so would pollute the atmosphere of the dojo and not only inhibit learning but also create friction between everyone there.

As an example of this; how would I discuss politics in my dojo when statistically 50% of my deshi voted for Obama and the other 50% voted for McCain?  How could I, or anyone in the dojo, make any kind of compliment or critical remark without offending the "other" 50%?  I compliment the POTUS and 50% think I'm crazy or I criticize the POTUS and 50% think I'm being too critical.  So my solution is to not discuss it nor do I allow anyone else to discuss it.  If any conversation occurs then it occurs off to one side or outside the dojo  between me and someone whose predilictions I am completely aware of so that there is no offense taken or given ...... and voices are low so that the mat never hears any comments.

He began to go out of his way to start arguments; monologues really that no one could object to since to do so would end our Aikido careers.  It became burdensome to be forced to sit and listen to our (or other people's) religions be attacked or their sexual preferences being attacked, or to be directly criticized for our career choice or the fact that we took our kids to church.

After watching a good friend and a great dojo fall into a world of being critical of other peoples religious belief, sexual preference, family issues it created in me, and many others I know, the decision to not engage in that behavior.

Running a dojo (or a martial arts organization) doesn't give us carte blanche to conduct ourselves like we're a radio host doing political commentary.  Go on AM radio sometimes and listen to those men/women who do so.  It wears you down and over time makes you just a negative as they are.  Some of the monologues I remember were cast as being "just in fun", "not really serious" or a "teaching moment" but for those of us who were the targets (or the witnesses) it became more than that.  Sometimes if anyone objected then we were accussed to being "thin-skinned" and "not willing to open our minds to his lessons".

So all these years later I've made the conscious decision to not run my dojo in that fashion and to try best I can to avoid those who do .... keeping my opinions on sex, religion & politics to myself and totally off the mat.  I don't allow others to bring that negativity into the dojo either which explains one of my expulsions this week of a 10 year student this week; his negativity having no place in Budo.

So what's the answer?  Simple.  There isn't one.  The best any of us can do is try to avoid the endless political discussions, comments on religion and sex-based jokes that seen so endemic today, esp. on social media.  I may even have to start de-friending people and re-cast the ways in which I engage in social media. 

I fail to understand how I can engage in social media or plain old fashioned gossip, loop in my students, and then proceed to express myself on the internet in the same argumentative fashion as did my teacher face-to-face all those years ago .... such is the communicative decay we now see due to no longer having to personally stand in front of and face the Christian we are saying "F____ Jesus" to or the atheist we are calling "crazy" or the political opponent we just described as "stupid" and "uninformed".

The longer I run a dojo, the older I get, the more I find myself willing to terminate relationships and to call people out for their negativity (masquerading as "humor" or "teaching moments").  Life has simply become too complex for endless negativities and once it spills into Budo and the martial arts relationships with students and associates it begins to have negative impact on what all of us, as martial artists, claim to be which is teachers and exemplars .... or just friends.

And with that said, I now find that I must be certain to live up to my observations and to no longer engage in the temptations to which all of us, including me, sometimes fall victim to.

Next blog-insanity .... Part Tre' of "The Incredible Shrinking Gi" ........

L.F. Wilkinson Sensei

Aikibudo Kancho, Aikibudokan, Houston, TX

February 2012

 

But Mommy, It's My Turn To Win!

To continue my New Year's thematic ........ the truth is truly extreme.

How many times have you heard the phrase, "As a martial artist you must learn to transcend victory and defeat"?

Wow.  If I heard that once from Sensei I heard it a thousand times ... maybe 10,000.  Problem is .... it's largely a lie ... or a falsehood ... or too optimistic and unrealistic  ..... depending on how critical you feel like being today.  It just sounds all "zen-ny" and "new-agey" and "aikido-esque"; sorta like saying, "When you can snatch the church key from my hand you are ready for happy hour."  ...... 

Humans didn't survive the last million years or so of evolution as we shed our hair, lost our tails and climbed down out of the trees and started walking upright and learned how to talk and use tools by not being competitive survivors.  We survived because bottom line; we are highly competitive creatures who got here by competing with nature, with animals, with the weather and with each other.  It's only the fact that we developed abstract and critical thought processes that we haven't killed off the planet or made ourselves extinct ..... yet.

Not competitive you say?  Bwahaha .. don't make me laugh and call you  a liar to your face.

Standing in line at a great restaurant that won't take reservations, waited for 2 hours and the next person called for a table ahead of you got there AFTER you did.  Roll-over or immediately ask the host WTF?

Studying hard in school, took the tests, scored the same perfect 100%, straight A+ scores as one other person but told THEY are going to be the Valedictorian and you're not?  WHAT?

Working that dream job for the big corporation that has one slot open for promotion and a 20% raise in pay.  You have seniority and you've been doing that job anyway for the last 90 days as a stand-in until management decided who to promote ..... and the guy who sits in the cube next to you with half your experience and half your time on the job gets the nood.  And you're happy about that?

How many examples do you want of just how competitive all of us really are?

You want to win just like I do.  The problem is that an overly strong desire to win is largely out of place on the mat when training, especially when doing randori of any kind.  It leads to inappropriate behavior, injuries, hurt feelings, belligerent attitudes and anger.  So this is where Sensei says, "You must learn to transcend victory and defeat"  ...... (must be said in deep booming voice with echos in background like a mystic living in a cave)  ...... you know ...... one bowl, one robe, one koan ..... oh and throw in some mist slithering along the ground like in an old B&W werewolf movie.

So what do we do about our competitiveness?  Well, my solution was one I could never voice to my Sensei as I don't think he'd really understand nor appreciate.  I want to win all the time but ... I equally want to lose all the time.

If I want to win then I'll do my best.  If I want to lose all the time the it's likely that I'll not do my best or, will hold back so that Sensei is not critical.  So the rub here is that if I have the wrong view of "transcending" then if I win I may start feeling guilty about being better at randori/kata so I'll hold back and do badly so that everyone likes me and I follow Sensei' directions.  Now I'll never do my best and never improve.  Judo gets past this with no competition in class but with shiai at tournaments.  Aikido, being a non-competitive martial art (tanto shiai be damned) has no such outlet so randori in class can become an issue.

In Aikido randori (the toshu, tanto kind with no tournament or competitive aspect of that kind involved) I strive for a balance.  I want to win as much as I want to lose.  I want to lose as much as I want to win. 

If I can keep it at 50-50 then both benefit me.  I have the satisfaction in randori of "winning" (more properly translated as "doing the best I can even if the other guy is less able than I am and can neer catch me.")  But if I lose then I have a very positive attitude about that because I can take that experience and improve myself.  It becomes a "win-win" even when I lose and my training partner who just took kote-0gaeshi on me 37 times in a row is teaching me and showing me where my weaknesses are so that my subconscious mind can begin to make those little corrections in my footwork and timing and posture that will, in the long run, make me a much better Aikido player.  If this is the case and my attitude, then how can "losing" to him be a bad or a negative thing?

So now "winning" or dominating the other person in randori teaches me how to be technically best and most effective against a lesser "opponent/uke/player" ...... while losing to that other person shows me my weaknesses so that I can correct and improve upon them.  Both "winning" and "losing" then become positives and I can positively direct and focus my competitive side while not feeling badly or fretting over my "I lost" side.

It is certainly true that in a dojo there will always be those naturals who have spent the time to become better and that in a heads-up randori scenario they will most always come out on top.  However, as long as everyone acknowledges that "winning" is not that "bad thing" that we're told it is and as long as the better players always take the time to assist and teach the lesser players how to improve and grow and become that "better" player, then a positive atmosphere is developed and maintained in which "winning" in randori is not a negative and "losing" in randori is simply nothing more than a challenge to oneself to work to learn to do better and is always, always a positive learning experience for all involved.

Randori is a critical part of training and of learning.  "Winning' therefore is not something to be avoided and "losing" also is not something to be dreaded.  The two are nothing more than two sides of the same coin and each should be valued for its appropriate place in the Aikido paradigm.  One cannot exist without the other and both can, and should be, made positive learning tools for the true Bushi/Aikido player.

 

L.F. Wilkinson Sensei, Aikibudo Kancho

Aikibudokan, Houston, TX

January 2012

Lipstick, A Tutu and a Smiley Face ......

Lipstick, a tutu and a smiley face ...... bwahaha .... the envelope pleeeeze .... wakka wakka ....

.... You can put lipstick on a pig ....

... and it's still just a pig.

You can put a tutu on a pug ....

 
.... and it's still just a dog that can't dance and it likely as not put the "U" in the word ugly.  (My kid owns a pug .. I should know).

And when a new student walks in the door and signs up while smiling broadly ....

 

.... well, sometimes it's sincere .... and sometimes it ain't ...

Many years ago my Sensei/mentor and I were having a discussion on "newbies" and I asked what I thought was a really simple question.   (Bwaha ... simple my dead aunt Grace's very ample left butt cheek) ...

My question was essentially, "How do we avoid teaching Aikido and the power that underlies it to evil people?  Won't we be enabling evil deeds outside the dojo?"

His immediate answer (one that later that week greatly expanded into a full monologue on how the mat really works) was simple ... "Nope."

Sometimes when someone walks thru' the door as a monjin we get an immediate read that says this person is trouble.  An experienced Sensei can see the issues before they arise and generally difuse them before it becomes physical by being matter of fact, giving very short answers to questions and just generally discouraging any interest in what's going on in class. 

Sometimes I'll inquire as to what they want in the MA and the answer will be something totally alien to the Aiki-Verse so at that point I'll drag out my list of other local dojo and Sensei and make a recommendation (grappling, competition, board breaking, head banging, jumping off the roof, wearing black PJ's, etc.) as to what they think they are looking for.  No harm.  No foul.  And we both get what we want; I keep my tranquil training environment and he gets a school to go to.   Win-Win.

Occasionally tho' the person walking in the door isn't broadcasting the dark side

or anything else that's really a face slapper and you decide to let them start simply because they are genuflecting all over the dojo and are repetitively stating how serious they are about learning Aikido because of ....blah, blah, blah ... all the normal things in the books and movies.  You don't sense anything untoward so take the check, wear the keikogi, bow-on and get to work.

Sometimes (most of the time actually) this works pretty well simply because (as it turns out) they were serious and honest.  What set off the alarm bells was just their being intimidated by all the strange people doing ukemi, joint locks and strangulation's and other weirdness commonly seen in a room full of budding Budoka inflicting mayhem on each other.

You were detecting their personal insecurities at work and their fear of the dojo shimmering thru' their interest.  And as it turns out after they settle in and stop being goofy and learn to focus and start building confidence, they begin to show all the signs of eventually becoming a real Aikido player with the potential of becoming a senior teacher someday.

When people first start a new activity they are trying to show their best face and convince all around them of their sincerity and potential value to the group they are seeking acceptance with.  This is pretty normal tribal and peer group behavior as they look first for admittance, and then for acceptancea and then begin working towards reputation enhancement and trust. 

It's only AFTER  the admittance & acceptance phases that they begin to feel really comfortable and at home and the mask comes off as they move towards reputation enhancement (thinking that who they are deep down inside has been fully accepted).  They just don't realize that the group accepted the "face" they came in with and not the true underlying character which they are now seeing in full for the first time.  They are sucha flawed person that they just can't see the truth even when confronted with it.

They can wear all the lipstick, pretty clothes and smiles you can think of but ... a pig is still a pig and a pug still can't dance and a person with evil intent or bad character and ethics is still ..... not a nice guy.

What Sensei observed (and probably your dad and granddad too since both of mine told me the same thing when I was a kid) is that the mask comes down when they feel at home and in control of their immediate environment.  They begin to feel so comfortable that they forget that others are watching them.  Sometimes, they become so comfortable that they begin acting arrogantly, as if they own the mat and begin telling everyone how to do waza that others have been doing correctly for years.  It's at that point the occasional bad joke crops thru' or the nasty snidness and snarkyness appears or the downright abusiveness shows itself.

The phrase is "You cannot hide your true character on the mat."

Two definitions that I see occasionally in newspapers and the like are:

• Reputation - how we act when we know others are watching
• Character - how we act when there is no one else in the room but us.

To those I would add the Aikido corollary:

• Character - how we observe Budo and share our positive attitude with others in the midst of long practices and when we are tired and not carefully parsing our words and actions and how we take 5 more minutes to help someone else learn even tho' all we want to do is get out of our hakama and go home and how we act supportively and not in a denigrating fashion

This is the reason that Sensei said "Nope" all those years ago.  No matter how hard they try, at some point their true nature pops up for all to see and their egocentricity is hung right out there and just can't be missed even by a blind person. 

Someones true nature and character can be a force for good and for positive actions and outlooks ... or it can be evil or simply negative and destructive.

Either way, no Sensei (unless they are evil themselves) ever has to worry about producing high level players who will be abusive outside the dojo since eventually, well before they learn anything of real power, their true self will stand before you for judgement and they simply will not last long enough on the mat to learn anything of value that can be used against others.

L.F. Wilkinson Sensei

Aikibudo Kancho

Aikibudokan, Houston TX

July 2011

Who Are You?

Funny question isn't it; who you are?

During a conversation I had with some fellow Yudansha recently the topic of the environment came up; the political environment that is, except in the sense of energy policy.  One comment made centered around the idea of knowing people who are ok to be around (I guess even be friends with) until the topic of "Save the Whales" is breached.

The rub seems to be that they (the greenie or the "environmentalist") gets all hot and bothered every time the topic of energy policy, environmentalism, conservation and all the rest comes up.  And having had more than a small handful of these sorts in my life, likely as not they are the ones who seem to hook onto every opportunity to "discuss" it.

Problem ..... and think about this for one second or maybe two or three .... standing before you is an animated and committed person who objects to the use of coal to generate electricity, the use of natural gas, the use of fracing to get to the natural gas, drilling offshore (or onshore for that matter), the use of nuclear, the generation of CO2, the use of old fashioned light bulbs, on and on ad nauseum.

Well, that's ok with me believe it or not.  I grew up in the country with the nearest town literally miles away.  My backyard was a pasture full of cattle and horses and early some mornings I could walk onto my back porch with a cup-o-joe with the steam rising from the cup and ground fog laying low and see deer grazing on the edge of the yard munching on St. Augustine grass or the mesquite beans hanging low on the tree while the mourning dove cooed from their nests in the live oak trees.  Suffering thru' puberty in such a "close to God" environment gives one a real appreciation for the beauty of nature and the need to protect it.

But, we used electricity and had air conditioning (finally .... when I was about 13 or 14).  We drove work trucks, jeeps and SUV''s (a Chevy Suburban or a crew-cab wasn't called that back then) that got bad mileage because we had to.  Didn't mean that we didn't clean up behind ourselves (we did).  Didn't mean we went around crapping up the country side (we didn't).  It simply meant that we had to temper our love of nature with the practicalities of work and life and we didn't gripe about the oil companies drilling for the oil to drive the vehicles or the natural gas to fire the power plants.

So now, there is this over-paid, over-sexed, over-educated, enviro-nut standing there lecturing you on the need to NOT use coal, natural gas, oil, gasoline, nuke, drill in ANWAR, drill in the Gulf of Mexico, process oil shale or oil sands, generate any CO2, on and on.  And while you are standing there unable to get a word in edgewise to stop the insanity ... (like, "Say, how about those Astros" and "Wanna go get a cold one?") ...  it suddenly strikes you like a jo in the back of the skull.

This guy drives a BIG SUV that gets about 5 gallons to the mile (a Hummer or one of those really large Dodges or Fords that's half pick-up and half-SUV and can carry a family of 12) AND he lives in a large 4 or 5 bedroom house even tho' he doesn't have kids (or the kids are all gone to school) AND he and his wife (and kids if they are still at home) ALL have  ... (1) a cell phone   ...   (2) an IPod  ...  (3) a lap-top   ..   (4) color laser printers on every desk  ..  (5) a High Def Plasma big screen in every bedroom WITH a home theater hooked-up   ..  (6) an AC that runs 24/7 set at about 70 degrees (whether they're home or not)   ..  (7) two to three cars in the drive way (mom and all the kids need transport to get to that manicure and massage and to meet the girls for that Vegan lunch)   ...   (8) a pool in the back with all the hot tubs and heating pool water and fancy lights  ..   (9) expensive pedigree dogs in the back that eat only custom food that could feed a family in India for a month ... and ... on and on and on and  .....

So while you're thinking about their energy heavy, environmentally expensive extravagent  life style they loudly and vehemently rag on "evil oil companies" and "greedy electric utilities" and "people who drive THOSE cars" and etc. etc. etc.

So Sensei      .....      this is Aikido HOW specifically?

Think about this for a moment. 

Aikido and the MA state that ideally there must be a balance in who we are and how we live and how we practice.  There must be balance and ethics in how we live, treat others, work  and train cooperatively, view our training partner, teach and act supportively of others, be non-critical when being positive is a better path to take.  But standing before you is a person who lives exactly the opposite of what they purport to believe in and they make no bones in telling how superior their ideals are and do not hesitate to criticize those that they hold guilty.  In essense; they hold ideals that they are unwilling to abide by and will actively go out of their way to be a doom-sayer; a very negative path to take and one that over time can become self-destructive.

They do this even tho' their entire life-style is dependent upon the "evil-doer's" and you know .... you know ...  that if pressed on the subject that they would NEVER agree to give it all up, live a consistent and coherent life and go back to a victory garden in the back, no tv, cell phones, computers or high-def tv's and instead burning candles and no air conditioning and conserving and recycling everything they can.

Now I ask you ........... is that hypocrisy ... or is that hypocrisy?  And more importantly, do you see anything deeply unsettling in the character of a person who loudly says one thing while doing another and who teaches their children to be equally hypocritical and bi-polar?

If they could only see the need to be practical while still doing reasonable things to help the environment and developing cleaner energy sources over time instead of acting (as my grand mother put it) all "high-and-mighty".  My Grandmother Maude had a saying for folks like that; "That little so-and-so can just kiss ole' Rose."  (I never ever heard her cuss and that offer of letting you take that kiss was about as close as I ever heard her get.)

Would you leave your money on the dresser of your bedroom and your sick and unconscious child in the bed and then give them the key and tell them you have to go out of town for the day on emergency business and would they please, please help you out?  Could you reeeeaallly trust someone who is so blantantly bi-polar in how they wear their public face but live their private life    .....    or would a small itch in the back of your head make you not want to turn your back on them for very long?  Would you want to offer them your elbow while training in Aikido on the mat?  Would you .... really?

Think about and make your own descision.  I for one tho' tend to find that eventually I scrub people like that out of my life.  Life is too short to put up with that kind of hypocritical aggravation either outside the dojo .... or on the mat.

Coherency.  Self-honestly.

If nothing else Aikido to me means becoming a whole human being and living a life in balance. 

Understanding the need to study the sword and the pen both. 

Looking for the idealistic without loosing sight of the realities.

Without living a life in balance you cannot become a complete human.

Just a thought.

L.F. Wilkinson Sensei

Aikibudo Kancho

Aikibudokan, Houston, TX

April 2011

Interlude

"Let every man practice the art he knows best."

Cicero

Please 'Splain Me Sensei Part 5

SPB:  OK Grasshopper .... sum it up so far for us ....

GD:  May I paraphrase?

SPB:  Of course.  Just get with it.  Quit sitting on ready and rocking on go!

GD:  Hai Sensei ...........

First, every class offers us an opportunity to learn whether that learning be how to be a better student (kohai), how to be a better teacher (sempai), or a new and wonderful waza that will allow us to walk on top of bamboo sprouts.

We should have a positive attitude and outlook and view working with our kohai as part of the giri of others having taught us in the beginning.  We should enjoy working with the kohai as much as working with the sempai since both offer us much growth opportunity; even if we do not immediately see it.

We should be humble and not act like a know-it-all since all of us, including you, still have much to learn.

SPB:  Smile when you say that partner ...........

GD:  Hai Sensei.

SPB:  True enough however so on with it ........

GD:  I have to be in the game and set goals and find ways to achieve the goals.

SPB:  How?

GD:  Find someone to take ukemi?

SPB:  Yes Grasshopper Deshi, find someone to take ukemi.  It is up to you to set a training schedule, find an uke, make time to train and get with it otherwise you'll become the world record holder for greatest number of decades as Ikkyu.  I cannot spoon (chopstick) feed you.  A Sensei is much like a sushi cutter going omakase on you.  He lays it out and you must learn to savor the flavor and learn the lesson.

Please 'Splain Me Sensei Part 4

Back at the dojo except in back in the hot tub ................

SPB:  So Grasshopper Deshi, how was your social event last evening?

GD:  Most wonderful Sensei.  The uni created an evening that was simply maaavalous!  Say Sensei ........... why is it that when you get in the hot tub you put a little hanky on your head?

SPB:  That's to keep it dry and wipe my face since the water is so hot I'm starting to feel like the frog in my lab class back in high school.

GD:  So ............... is this where I say ............ Stick a fork in you 'cause you're done?

SPB:  Ha, Ha,BwaBwa, Bwahahahahahahaha ............... only if you went to spend the rest of the day cleaning the makiwari with a tooth brush.

GD:  Sensei, we don't have a makiwari in the dojo.

SPB:  So I'll buy one.  So did you learn anything last night?

GD:  Hai Sensei!  I learned that you have to have a plan.

SPB:  Explain Grasshopper.

GD:  Life and the social scene with your best companion must be savored and not rushed but must also be focused such that the universal energies flow.  You must irimi and blend with the energy flow that is directed towards you while not attempting to exert control.

SPB:  Oh My Gosh!  You're starting to talk like me ............ hmmmmm ........... that's scary!  Go on and try to speak English this time.

GD:  Hai!  We had a relaxing lunch.  I went home an thought most vigorously about where to go on my date.  I planned it out, bought the tickets ahead of time on-line, made dinner reservations, went to the Food Net and looked up the best wine to go with the Cajun food I thought would be nice, double checked that I had enough money in the bank to pay and cash in pocket to tip, and ...............

SPB:  OK, I get the idea now.  To sum it up you made a plan and stuck to it start to finish.  Does that about sum it up?

GD:  Hai Sensei.

SPB:  Good!  Now translate that to the tatami.

GD:  If I want to progress and become Galactic Dan someday I must plan ahead.

SPB:  Yes Grasshopper.  Plan ahead, ask what you have to know for the next rank, find an uke when it's time and always keep your eye on the sea urchin .... er ........... ah ...........ball that is.  Too many times we are promoted and slack off only to someday look up and discover that we now hold the dojo record for greatest number of decades as Ikkyu.  You must always go to class and have enjoyment in the moment but you must temper your enjoyment with the plan to always work to advance and learn and progress.  In other words, get on the jo .... er .... ah .... stick.  Osu.

GD:  Osu Sensei?

SPB:  Yes Grasshopper ..... osu ....... we suffer together.

Please 'Splain Me Sensei Part 3

We're still in lurker mode outside the window at Aardvark Dojo .................

SPB:  So Grasshopper Deshi; how are those pants holding up?

GD:  I feel like I gave myself a wedgie ......... or is it a melvin ............ I forget.  The ki-concept is so difficult at times.

SPB:  Yes.  Squinting just right and having your obi correct is an important part of being a Galactic Dan.  After all, you have to look the part and looking the part and 'styling' is an important indicator of what is going on inside your head ..... plus it holds your pants up.

GD:  Huh!

SPB:  Look at life, the Aiki-Verse and All That Stuff like you would consider your neighbor.  You see inside his house and it's a disaster.  His car is so packed with junk you can't get into it and he dresses like a slob.  Now quick; what is your opinion of his life, job and relationships?

GD:  Uhmmm ..... ahhhh ....... less than organized?

SPB:  That's a nice and non-obtrusive way in which to phrase it.  Now, how organized do you think he is and do your believe that he ever sets goals in life, much less reaches them and more importantly do you think he knows the sutra's?

GD:  No.  I don't think so Sensei.  And if you mean a sutra being a thread or line that hold things together then maybe he should tighten his obi and melvin himself too ..... or is it a wedgie .... I still can't figure out the difference.

SPB:  Most excellent distillation of the person Grasshopper Deshi.  Much like the purest sake you have distilled his essence into a thimble of existence.  Some would say that he has bad karma and because he fails to plan ahead and organize his journey in a timely and coordinated fashion that he will never reach kensho, satori ......... or nirvana or valhalla either for that matter.

GD:  Sensei, I don't understand.

SPB:  Sorry there ............ it's close to lunch and I was considering hot tea or sake and confusing myself.  No matter.  I'll have a chocolate biscotti and some coffee for the moment.  Let's list where we are so far in our quest for the magic carpet of Aiki-Hood.

• First, go to class on a regular basis.
• Next, be positive in our attitude on the mat and when training with others.
• Next, be supportive of the efforts of beginners as we were all beginners at some point in our journey to Aiki-Hood.
• Next, keep your obi tight and your loins girded.
• Lastly, be organized ..... organize your life and organize your Aikido practice and your mind will become simplified, organized and your place in the Aiki-verse will manifest itself in your demeanor and right-thought and actions.

GD:  My loins?

SPB:  Sorry, too much Chaucer in college.  Should have paid more attention to Confucius.

GD:  What else to I need to do to reach Aiki-Hood, Sensei?

SPB:  To reach enlightenment one must set a goal and a scroll and then a sushi roll ........ Opps!  Sorry, still thinking about lunch.  But, as we move into enlightenment we must set a goal and a means to reach that goal.  If the immediate goal is to make Shodan or Nidan then we must find someone to light the path for us.

GD:  Light the path?

SPB:  Yes, take breakfalls for as we prepare for our demo.

GD:  Ahhh ... I am beginning to reach enlightenment!  I must not only be positive in attitude and helpful in action I must set the path, plan for the journey and find a companion.

SPB:  Most most excellent Grasshopper Deshi.  End of today's lesson.  Let us depart for lunch at Charlie Tuna's Salmon and Handroll Emporium and look at today's sake special.  Oh .... and by the way ..... a wedgie is when they get you going and a melvin is when they get you coming.

GD:  Wow Sensei ...... I'm so confused.  Do you think they'll have any fresh uni?  I have a hot date tonight.

Please 'Splain Me Sensei Part 2

tippy-toe tippy-toe tippy-toe as we sneak back up to the window of Aardvark Dojo ......

Shhhhh ........ lets listen in and see what the Sensei teaches today .......

SPB:  "Ok Grasshopper Deshi, now that we've practiced "Little Pinky Waza" do you have any questions about supporting and encouraging new players and help them to reach the sames heights of Ki-Excellence that you are striving for?"

GD:  "What is the meaning of life O'Poo-Bah Sensei?"

SPB:  "Heck if I know!  My daddy used to say pay your bills on time and  ......... OH WAIT ........... Why my son, the meaning of life is found the the smallest flower, the ugliest insect eaten in flight by the peacock and the barking dog chasing the rat.  These matters of eternal existence though are of little importance though to someone such as you, questing through life for the mystical 85th Dan like Alice sitting down for tea and reaching for the rice patty."

GD:  "How do I achieve the much sought after 85th Galactic Dan Sensei and impress the girls in my hakama?"

SPB:  "Well first off the chicks really dig the black pants but other than that my son, come to class."

GD:  "Huh?"

SPB:  "Come to class."

GD:  "HUH?"

SPB:  "COME ...... TO ...... CLASS!  Are you deaf?  Did you think that enlightenment and sartorial excellence and the ability to whack people could be reached by swallowing a magic mushroom or by sitting at my feet while I tell bad jokes and spill coffee on myself and pluck a banjo?  Do you think that you can achieve enlightenment, universal knowledge of mystical things and find a clean fundoichi to wear if you don't come to class and actually train, I mean actually train and throw people and take ukemi and not just sit on your tushie and engage in kuchi-waza?"

GD:  "Oh ........... I guess I haven't been very good about that lately have?"

SPB:  "Well, how would you consider someone who comes once a week maybe, and walks off the mat every 15 minutes to check their pager or call their spouse and who arrives exactly at bow-on and leave 15 seconds after we bow-off and doesn't do any extra work ..... committed to the process??????"

GD:  "Er, ah, ummm ........... sigh .... nooo .... I guess not"

SPB:  "Then don't be surprised when it takes you 10 years to make Shodan and more importantly, don't come complaining to me when people who started after you did, make black belt before you do!  I don't enjoy being questioned about the painfully obvious when I'm cutting tuna and sipping sake.  It doesn't take a katana maker to understand that if you don't go to class and actually do something that it will take forever to accomplish anything."

GD:  "But Master ....... !"

SPB:  "Oh, and once you make Shodan don't slack off either because if you do you'll never make Nidan and Sandan or anything else either."

GD: "But Master .......!"

SPB:  "Come and Train, Come and Train, Come and Train ....... that is the only true secret."

GD:  "But Master .......!"

SPB:  "Don't call me masta' ...... I'm not your masta', I'm a teacher and my job is to teach you how to learn ......... not learn waza per se but more importantly, learn how to be a student of life and Aikido and how to learn to teach others who follow in your footsteps!"

GD:  "Hai Sensei .... Gomen Nasai, Sensei.  How do I learn then?"

SPB:  "You have to actually be in the game.  You have to set goals, work with beginners, be a good student for the sempai and in turn be a good sempai for those new-bies who are kohai to you.  Encourage them.  Counsel them.  Support them and in doing so you not only spend valuable time on the mat learning to teach, you also begin to understand how much you do not know and how far you have yet to journey,

GD:  "Hai Sensei ..... I guess that I've been too involved with myself and issues outside the dojo to see the larger picture and how I can benefit."

SPB:  "Hai, the Sempai teaches and the Kohai learns.  Becoming part of the dojo family not only gives support to new players but also gives support to you by your becoming part of the solution.  Thus, we all move forward together instead of wandering like a herd of kittens in search of milk; mewing but not much else."

SPB:  "OK Grasshopper Deshi, time to explore how to squint in a Zen-Like Fashion while tightening your obi in the dressing room."

GD:  "Gosh Sensei, will that make me a better Aikido-Master?"

SPB:  "No but it will help keep your pants up.  We'll cover more of the mystics tomorrow."

Please 'Splain Me Sensei

Many times events happen on the mat that raise questions and the need for explanations to younger players.  One of these questions that may arise has to do with learning and eventually being promoted as regards the when, the how and the why.  In order to "make light" of a "dark subject" lets sneak up to the window at Dojo Aardvark and listen to Sensei Poo-Bah ("SPB") of Moo-Cow Ryu answer questions from his young acolyte Grasshopper Deshi ("GD").

GD:  "Sensei Poo-Bah, What are the rough ideas (the secrets) behind being promoted to 85th Galactic Dan?"

SPB:  "Well young Grasshopper Deshi, first we have to actually go to class and perform the 17 Long Horns and the Big 10 Saddle-Up's."

GD:  "OK, but I go to class now!"

SPB:  "Yes or so it seems but do you have an open mind or are you just on auto-pilot and engaged in walking zen while the calf lays bound before the running iron?"

GD:  "What do you mean, Sensei Poo-Bah?"

SPB:  "Are you doing anything or just posing and looking good and walking around licking your eye-brows?"

GD:  "But I comb my hair and I put on my gi and I fall down and I get back up ........ !!"

SPB:  "OK, but have you ever been to a class where everyone is dressed up and going through the same motions as the last 100 times they put on their gi as if nothing has value?"

GD:  "What do you mean Sensei Poo-Bah?"

SPB:  "AARGH ..... Have you ever walked onto the mat and had the attitude or thought of, "Oh my, the ukemi ONE-MORE-TIME ...... Oh My ...... the Walking and the 8 Releases ONE-MORE-TIME  ....  Oh MY ..... Groan ...... I'm like  .. so bored ....... like grooaaaaan ...... like ...  when do I get to jump thru' flaming hoops and like ... cut flying watermelons in half with my katana like I saw at the karate show last weekend?""

Grasshopper Deshi (aka "Ee-yore") looks very intently at lint under big toe-nail on right foot and mumbles something like ....

GD:  "Weeelllll, now that you mention it ......"

SPB:  "OK then; to actually progress we must go to class, review what has come before and then look towards learning something new and wonderful."

GD:  "Ahhhhhhh ...... so you mean that each class provides us with the opportunity to see new material or, the chance to learn something new and different about what we already know, polish my mirror in other words!"

SPB:  "Yes Grasshopper Deshi, most excellent! ........ keeping an empty tea cup and a clean looking-glass allows us to view each class as a new and different experience."

SPB:  "Be honest with me now ............... Do you know everything there is to know the 8 Releases and how to do them against any attacker, male or female,big or little, human or Martian, 2 arm or 4 armed?    Huh?"

Grasshopper Deshi now intently examines lint under big toe on left foot and thinks he sees a hang-nail ......

GD:  "Well, what can I say Sensei Poo-Bah?"

SPB:  "To start with Grasshopper Deshi, you can admit to yourself that you know less than you think and have much to learn ..................And, after you internalize this new wisdom you can make the pledge to not be a bossy know-it-all as if you know more than someone with 10 or 20 or 30 years on the mat who themselves would be the first to tell you that they also have much to learn ........AND .......... you can help the beginners who know nothing to learn and not cause them to think that you are wonderful when what you might be doing is making them feel unworthy."

Grasshopper Deshi leans waay over and starts to look very intensely at cracks in the floor, wishing he could teleport himself to the Plains of Mars ............. and mumbles .........

GD:  "You never made me feel like I couldn't learn when I started did you?"

"SPB:  No Grassshopper Deshi, I'm sure there were nights when I had come off a long day at the office and was tired but no matter how bad I felt or how tired I might have been, I always tried to encourage you and tell you over and over that you CAN learn and you CAN become an 85th Galactic Dan if you only try."

SPB:  "Tell you what Grasshopper Deshi, lets call it a conversation and do some releases, there's a little tiny piece on the end of the first one that you should possibly consider that involves slightly stressing the little finger and bringing it in tune with the universal elements ......"

GD:  "Can we talk some more Sensei Poo-Bah after we stick our little finger out?"

SPB:  "Yes, later............ you have much to learn about the Way of Humility, the Universe and Other Aiki- Stuff, but for now, hold out your hand and think about snow-roses in Tibet gently waiving in the breeze .... and tomorrow go get a pedicure."